As I am sitting here, trying to get to the 'beginning' of what I want to write, my helpful husband reminded me of how Snoopy begins every time he writes! And you know, its not far from being a good beginning for me too!
"It was a dark and stormy night"... when my willingness to trust God's sovereignty is put to the test.
On bright and happy days, its so easy to declare His greatness and to trust His plan for my life! When everything is going according to 'plan' and I'm not worried about the options for outcome, its easy to say, "God, I know I can trust You and I know that You are working everything out for my good!" -- which, of course, probably means I think He's going to make it a good outcome for me.
Its much easier to trust someone if they are being nice to you and keeping circumstances pleasant but, if circumstances change, our ability to trust the person we're with will be directly proportionate to the degree which we 'know' the person.
Sometimes I was around older kids who were supposed to 'take care' of the younger kids - of which I was one. They'd invariably want to take us places that were very unfamiliar to us and it were disturbing - to little kids my age. If I didn't know the place or the kids very well, I would be very uneasy about going with them. (It could have been perfectly fine - but, since I didn't know enough, I couldn't trust enough.)
On the other hand, because of the time invested in a relationship between me and my Dad, I had come to know him, his character, his abilities, his love for me in such a way that I could trust him no matter where he wanted to take me. In the course of getting to know him in 'safe places', it gave me the confidence to trust him when he would take me to 'unsafe places' (every child's definition of 'unsafe' is different and relative to the child). The more 'unsafe places' I went with him, the greater my trust was built in him and his love for me. But, I had to be willing to go there with him. I had to trust the first time, based on what I knew of him; and the more I experienced, as difficult as it was sometimes, the more I got to know him.
In her book, "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ", Madame Jeanne Guyon states, "Abandonment is key to the inner court – the key to the fathomless depths – key to the inward spiritual life." She goes on to say that abandonment is surrendering to the Lord, allowing Him to do with you as He pleases - every moment, every day, all life long. That's not easy!
If I want to know the depths of Jesus Christ, I must be willing to go with Him anywhere He wants to take me. The circumstance will not change - it will still be '... a dark and stormy night', but the difference is that I will know He is with me; He has a reason for this moment in time and I will come to know Him more intimately in the process. If I resign myself to His will for my life, accepting everything as His instrument to achieve His purposes, my heart will be in 'perfect concert' with His.
I know Him - I can accept His will. I accept His will - so I may know Him more.
"Lord, I desire to know You more. I long to be in the inner court with You. I surrender my will, my expectations, my desires, my rights, my responses to You. Take me where You want me to go so that in the journey, I will come know You and love You more deeply. Amen."