In June 1995, I was on a jet flying from Seattle to Sydney, Nova Scotia to see my parents. I had just found out that the property which had been in my family for generations was for sale. My parents had decided to try and get some money for it to help in their retirement.
All the time I lived at home, I had a 'love/hate' relationship with the land. Part of me could 'feel' the antiquity and bloodlines that had walked its terrain day after day as farmers of dairy cows, teams of work horses, hogs, hay and vegetables. Some days, I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world. My emotional and familial roots ran deep.
There were other days when my attitude was completely different and on one of those days, I decided to leave home. I ended up on the west coast of the United States - as far away as I could get. But, even with the distance between me and the land, it still pulled on my heart. I still wanted it; wanted to live there; wanted to be able to keep the historic tradition of passing it down to yet another generation.
I still struggle with it sometimes. Even though both of my parents have passed away and there's nothing and no one else in Nova Scotia to really draw me there, the land still calls, and with every subdivided lot that sells, my heart grieves.
Many times I've had to come to grips with the fact that a house on that land would never happen, and I would have to release my dreams, my desires, 'my land' back to God to do whatever He wanted to do with it and with me - yet another time.
In June 1995, while on that jet, I was faced with one of those times.
I was reminded of that yesterday when I was posting about our seeking Christ like a Bride seeks her Bridegroom. Because of the spiritual history we have, Christ is our Kinsman Redeemer - One, who by virtue of His family ties with us, 'buys us back' with His blood and takes us as His wife to be cherished, loved and provided for. Ruth had such a Kinsman Redeemer in Boaz.
While flying 35,000 feet in the air, I wrote a song, a prayer that came from deep within, and it became one of the many reminders that I am not dependent on what I have or who I know - I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
All the time I lived at home, I had a 'love/hate' relationship with the land. Part of me could 'feel' the antiquity and bloodlines that had walked its terrain day after day as farmers of dairy cows, teams of work horses, hogs, hay and vegetables. Some days, I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world. My emotional and familial roots ran deep.
There were other days when my attitude was completely different and on one of those days, I decided to leave home. I ended up on the west coast of the United States - as far away as I could get. But, even with the distance between me and the land, it still pulled on my heart. I still wanted it; wanted to live there; wanted to be able to keep the historic tradition of passing it down to yet another generation.
I still struggle with it sometimes. Even though both of my parents have passed away and there's nothing and no one else in Nova Scotia to really draw me there, the land still calls, and with every subdivided lot that sells, my heart grieves.
Many times I've had to come to grips with the fact that a house on that land would never happen, and I would have to release my dreams, my desires, 'my land' back to God to do whatever He wanted to do with it and with me - yet another time.
In June 1995, while on that jet, I was faced with one of those times.
I was reminded of that yesterday when I was posting about our seeking Christ like a Bride seeks her Bridegroom. Because of the spiritual history we have, Christ is our Kinsman Redeemer - One, who by virtue of His family ties with us, 'buys us back' with His blood and takes us as His wife to be cherished, loved and provided for. Ruth had such a Kinsman Redeemer in Boaz.
While flying 35,000 feet in the air, I wrote a song, a prayer that came from deep within, and it became one of the many reminders that I am not dependent on what I have or who I know - I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
You are my Lord
You are my Kinsman Redeemer
When I was lost in sin, You sought me and bought me
I give my life to You, a Bride for Your pleasure
No sacrifice too great
You are my Everything!
Diane Nelson, c. June 1995
Beautiful Treasure Music
You are my Kinsman Redeemer
When I was lost in sin, You sought me and bought me
I give my life to You, a Bride for Your pleasure
No sacrifice too great
You are my Everything!
Diane Nelson, c. June 1995
Beautiful Treasure Music
Henri Nouwen writes in his Genesee Diary - "God cannot be understood; he cannot be grasped by the human mind. The truth escapes our human capacities. ... We can neither explain God nor his presence in history. ... We only can be faithful in our affirmation that God has not deserted us but calls us in the middle of all the unexplainable absurdities of life. ... God cannot be limited by any human concept or prediction. He is greater than our mind and heart and perfectly free to reveal himself where and when he wants."
Do I know Him? I dare say not as well I'd like.
Do I know Him? I dare say not as well I'd like.
Can I trust Him? Absolutely!
If He cannot be grasped with my human mind, He must also be vast enough for any question, any need, any trial I may face in this life, and therefore, I gladly give myself to Him.
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3 comments:
A wonderful testimony and a valuable reminder. God has proven Himself trustworthy over and over again, yet we... like the Israelites of old, sometimes want to complain, or even rebel, in our wilderness wandering years, and foolishly fail to trust the promises that God has given us.
Thank you Greg. Your comments are welcome! Good to see you again!
Jesus, Jesus, how we trust him
How we've tried him o'er and o'er..
That we might trust Him more..
Indeed, til we trust in nothing else..
A life work in progress. I'm walking with you, sister!
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